Goodnight, My Angel

An almost-forgotten melody crept into my head the other day. Just the first few notes initially, but by bedtime I realized what song it was from. "Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel)" by Billy Joel. I learned and performed this song with my high school a cappella choir. I didn't mind the song then, but it wasn't one of my favorites. The melody was kind of pretty; it was sad in a haunting way that I didn't really understand or connect with. Now these lyrics mean so much more to me.

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away 

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me 

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me 

Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on...
They never die
That's how you
And I
Will be

Kitchen Adventures: Meatballs with Al Pal

Al Pal tending to the meatballs

I enjoyed a rare kitchen collaboration with Alex for (turkey-free) Thanksgiving 2012. Thanksgiving dinner was a success, although I have to admit two things:

1. Alex rolled his meatballs better than I rolled mine.
2. These meatballs were not quite as delicious as Momma Scott's.

Other parts of Thanksgiving dinner:

Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Pound cake (courtesy of Momma Scott)

I always remember halfway through Thanksgiving that I own china and this would be a good occasion to use it. So, out came the china for dessert and coffee (or tea).

Pound cake with Morello cherries and whipped cream

Coco

So that was Thanksgiving 2012. Much different than other Thanksgivings, but nice. There were some tears, but they didn't interfere with the enjoyment of good food and good company. 

Turkey-free Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving 2011-minutes before sharing the "big news"

We found out I was pregnant with Julian the week before Thanksgiving last year. I think (or hope) that in the future I will be able to associate this time of year with the excitement and anticipation of expecting our first child, but this year it only makes me sad. It makes me sad for everything that I thought Thanksgiving 2012 would be, and it makes me angry that we don't get to share this Thanksgiving with Julian. Granted, I did not feel unbridled joy and excitement in November, 2011. I was nervous that the pregnancy might end in miscarriage, because that's relatively common. I didn't really relax and start looking forward to raising Baby Bell until later in the pregnancy, after we had passed the "danger zone" and were well into the 2nd trimester. This time last year, I didn't know what to expect from the new pregnancy, but I never would have imagined that it would end in stillbirth.

So, this Thanksgiving will be hard. I still wanted to cook and have family over, but I could only picture myself bawling over a raw turkey Thanksgiving morning and then not being able to eat said turkey that night because of everything that it would remind me of. Instead, this year's Thanksgiving dinner will be homemade meatballs and spaghetti. I just hope my meatballs turn out as delicious as Momma Scott's : ).

Julian's Stocking

I usually have a rule against Christmas topics, music or activities before Thanksgiving, but my Holiday Pops music came in the mail today, so I guess it's full speed to the red-and-green season from here. So, I'll go ahead and write about Julian's stocking.

First of all, I want to note that the question I asked Taison on Monday was another in a long line of questions we have asked each other over the last few months that no one should ever have to ask. In this case, the question was, "would it be weird/stupid to buy a Christmas stocking for Julian?" He said no, which was what I was hoping he would say since I had already decided that I wanted to buy one. And lo and behold, Pottery Barn was having a one day only sale (our stockings are from there, and I was planning to get a matching one for Baby Bell and subsequent Bell babies).

I'm not that excited about the holidays this year, but I am looking forward to hanging Julian's stocking alongside ours. If I can stand going into a baby section of a store next month, I would like to buy a coat or something to put in the stocking, and later donate to a child in need. Do any of you have a charity that you like to donate children's clothing to?

16 Weeks

My dear Julian would have been 16 weeks old today. I wonder what he would have looked like, what developmental milestones he would have hit by now. I miss him so much.

Sky over Magnolia Park on my way to work, 11/1/12

Four More Years!

(The Obama family in sculpture-this was a gift from my great-aunt a few years ago. It's a bit of a conversation piece.)

Four years ago I celebrated Obama's election with a great group of friends, all of us wearing blue at a classmate's apartment in New Haven. In Fall 2008, I had an exciting four years ahead of me: finishing grad school, getting married, moving to a new city, buying a house, giving birth to my first child. Last night it was just me and Taison, and I went to bed without even hearing Obama's acceptance speech. Even though these days are hard, I'm sure there are plenty of great things to come in the next four years.

"Forward"

Kitchen Adventures: Bill the Bass

Meet Bill

We cooked him, and he was delicious

We learned that cooking a whole fish is easy-especially when your fish guy takes the guts out for you. Here's the recipe we used.

~Don't forget to VOTE tomorrow, if you haven't already!!!~

Random Thoughts-11/4 Edition

Taison makes me so happy. I am fortunate to have him as my partner in life.

Life is not fair, and people do not get what they deserve, whether it's good or bad. Things just happen. That doesn't mean that it's not worth making plans and trying to make good decisions. You just have to understand that those plans won't always work out.

I can't figure out why there are birds and eggs on this month's calendar-seems more appropriate for spring. The illustrations for all of the other months are plants or flowers that are typical for that month. Maybe I'm supposed to reminisce about spring as we move into the cold, dark days of winter.

Happy DST ; ). What did you do with your "extra" hour this weekend? I slept a little longer and did some yoga.

Next Project

Look what came in the mail today just in time for the end of the Capture Your Grief project. Learning and memorizing this should keep me well-occupied over the next several weeks. I'm looking forward to more lunchtime trips to the bowels of Symphony Hall to practice (see CYG Day 29 for a photo of my favorite practice room). Performances mid-January.