Tonight I Feel Like...

...this:

Kind of tired, definitely comfy-just like Coco laying on Momma Scott's lap. It's been a busy week at work, and I'm enjoying some couch time now. It's also still chilly enough outside to appreciate being snuggled under a blanket. Spring has gotten off to a very slow start here. Usually I would complain (and I have a little), but I've also realized that the warm weather will be hard for me to deal with sometimes this year. We had a nice 70 degree day earlier this week, and I was in tears by the time I got home from work. All of the chubby bouncing babies were out. One happy little boy danced on his father's lap a few seats down from me on the T. He was the age Julian would have been now. Others nestled against their mothers' chests in their Ergo carriers, no longer shielded from the outside elements by blankets and hats. It all makes me miss Julian.

I'm still looking forward to a lot of the same things I get excited about every spring. My favorite pair of magnolia trees in the park down the street are about to bloom. I've already started some seeds for my vegetable garden this summer (tomatoes, peppers, carrots and radishes). I love that it's light out when I wake up and when I come home from work. And, I'm getting antsy to swap out my tired winter wardrobe for the spring and summer clothes that have been packed away all winter. Those clothes will have to stay in their boxes for a few more weeks I think. We had more rain today and yesterday. You know what they say about April showers, though.

Kitchen Adventures: Epic Fail

These look like some pretty tasty waffles, right?

No, these waffles were terrible.

My attempt at making brunch last Saturday failed comically. I was all set to make a banana-walnut version of my favorite waffle recipe. I have made waffles using this recipe MANY times since my dad introduced it to me last summer. This variation was inspired by one perfectly overripe banana that had been sitting in our fruit bowl for a few days. I was planning to throw it away, and was excited to have found something better to do with it. I mixed up the batter and made the first one-it looked scrumptious, but tasted very, very wrong. I quickly realized that I had accidentally grabbed the baking soda instead of baking powder. The most basic of kitchen mistakes. This was after I had accidentally flung melted butter across half of the kitchen and before I realized that the bacon was slimy and funny-smelling.

So, I told Taison, who thought it was all hilarious, and we abandoned brunch at home and went to Johnny D's : )

Catching Up

I haven't blogged in a while. I've been a little busier than usual, and was out of town last weekend. But really, I haven't had much to say for myself lately. I'm just living life, trying to stay positive even though I don't always feel positive.

I went to VA last weekend to visit my parents. It was nice to spend time with Momma and Poppa Scott, Taylor, and grandma, and also to catch up with a few good, old friends (including my "second mommy" Mimi). I also had Burmese food for the first time-it was delicious.

 Fermented tea-leaf salad (tastes much better than it looks)

Speaking of food, I made what I humbly consider to be the best shrimp and grits ever last week:

(Hint: if you try this recipe, sub thick-cut bacon for the proscuitto and add a little cayenne pepper.)

I'm looking forward to the weather warming up so we can spend more time outside. I haven't been on my bike since last September. I'm also getting antsy to start gardening. We have some fun weekend trips planned for next month-NYC, then Chicago for Baconfest with Alex and Taylor and their girlfriends.

Kitchen Adventures: Salt Cay Edition

On our way to lunch one day, we ran into a local guy who we'd met earlier in the week (it's a small island), and he asked us if we wanted some lobster. We ended up with four small, just-caught lobster tails for free. We were planning to find Kevin the fisherman and buy snapper from him for dinner, but figured we'd go with the lobster instead. We asked the owner of the restaurant where we ate lunch to keep the lobster in her fridge for a couple of hours until we headed back to our beach house. (We were on our bikes, and it was way too hot to carry fresh lobster around all afternoon.)

Raw materials: lobster, onions, lemon/limes, and plenty of melted butter

View from the grill

View in the grill

You'll notice an absence of anything green in this meal. It's very hard to get fresh produce on Salt Cay. They don't grow any of their own because the wild donkeys eat everything, and it's expensive and inconvenient to get produce from other islands in the area. We thought we would try to supplement our meal with cactus pears. These particular cactus pears looked pretty but didn't taste very good, which was a shame because they're labor-intensive. Taison was in charge of burning off the spines and peeling them.

For an island with limited access to groceries and only three restaurants, we ate well. We had lots of conch (conch fritters, conch stew, fried conch, conch empanadas), an amazing curried banana soup, delicious barbequed ribs, whole fried snapper, and curried goat. There was also plenty of rum punch and a refreshing alcoholic ginger beer that's made on Grand Turk, the next island over.

 Conch empanadas

Hard ginger beer-perfect with whole snapper, cole slaw and red beans and rice

 Conch fritters

This is what your kitchen would look like if you were a lighthouse keeper in the 1800s

Grand Turk Lighthouse

A Year Ago in Belize...

...Julian was with us.

Caye Caulker, Belize, March 2012

I had many bittersweet moments during our vacation this year. Moments when I missed him, moments when I suddenly remembered everything that happened in July and over the months since then. I am proud to say that I twice answered the question "do you have any kids?" accurately, by saying that our son was stillborn last summer.

Sunrise in Salt Cay, Turks and Caicos, March 2013

Dear Julian,

We just got back from a trip to the Caribbean, kind of like the one you were with us for last year.

There were lots of babies on the plane. It made me think about what it would be like to have you with us. This would have been the trip where we really introduced you to the sand and the ocean (and sunscreen). You would have been too little when we went to the Vineyard last September.

Do you remember the old man in Belize last year? You may have been able to hear him when he said, "take good care of that baby!" to me. I replied, "okay, thank you" and laughed a little, because that man was the first stranger to comment on my tiny baby bump.

I think I did take good care of you. After all, you were nice and chubby and perfect-looking when you were born, with all ten fingers and ten toes. I think you were happy and comfortable in my belly for those nine months-you certainly seemed to have fun kicking and rolling around. Even though I was hoping to take care of you for a lot longer than a few months, it was nice to have that short time with you.

Love,
Mommy

Beach Escape 2013

We got back from Turks and Caicos yesterday. We had a nice week and easy travels. Here are some pictures: 

The cockpit of the antique-looking 9-seater plane we took from Providenciales (a larger city in Turks and Caicos with an international airport) to Salt Cay, the small island we stayed on. It was a surprisingly smooth flight.

Salt Cay airport from the plane

North Beach, just steps from our suite. We had the beach to ourselves almost every day.

Biking into "town" for dinner on a very bumpy, sandy road. We road our bikes all over the island, despite the rough ride. Luckily, they had lights on them for our rides home from dinner. We could see so many stars at night-the most I've ever seen in my life.

It was chilly and rainy on our first full day there, so we hung out in our suite most of the day, except for a visit with the family of goats that live nearby. This is one of the twin baby goats. 

Lunchtime on our front porch

Island donkeys-they're feral and eat everything and destroy the island ecosystem : /.

The building in the background is one of the three restaurants on the island.

Sunset over the water

Benji, our doggy friend

Our cow acquaintance 

Special sand-each grain was polished perfectly smooth by the sea. It was so soft and light.

Me and Taison in front of the old salt ponds

Ready for a Break

In the last two weeks, I've dealt with an irate parent at work, been to the dentist twice, and had over 15 vials of blood drawn. I'm fine, both physically and professionally, but I'm ready for a break. Luckily, we leave for Turks and Caicos tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to a few nice warm days on the beach with Taison. I'll soak up a few extra rays for you all, especially my fellow sun-starved northeasterners.

Goodbye for now, snow and cold