Thanksgiving 2011-minutes before sharing the "big news"
We found out I was pregnant with Julian the week before Thanksgiving last year. I think (or hope) that in the future I will be able to associate this time of year with the excitement and anticipation of expecting our first child, but this year it only makes me sad. It makes me sad for everything that I thought Thanksgiving 2012 would be, and it makes me angry that we don't get to share this Thanksgiving with Julian. Granted, I did not feel unbridled joy and excitement in November, 2011. I was nervous that the pregnancy might end in miscarriage, because that's relatively common. I didn't really relax and start looking forward to raising Baby Bell until later in the pregnancy, after we had passed the "danger zone" and were well into the 2nd trimester. This time last year, I didn't know what to expect from the new pregnancy, but I never would have imagined that it would end in stillbirth.
So, this Thanksgiving will be hard. I still wanted to cook and have family over, but I could only picture myself bawling over a raw turkey Thanksgiving morning and then not being able to eat said turkey that night because of everything that it would remind me of. Instead, this year's Thanksgiving dinner will be homemade meatballs and spaghetti. I just hope my meatballs turn out as delicious as Momma Scott's : ).
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