Baby Update

Baby is 34 weeks today and doing great. We started weekly ultrasounds to check on growth, practice breathing, etc., and everything has looked good so far. We even got a peek at his cute little face in 3D this week : ).

The books say he's the size of a butternut squash now, somewhere between 4 1/2 and 5 1/2 lbs...

...but this week's ultrasound measurements estimated that he's already over 6 lbs! He still moves often and a lot, which is nice reassurance for his mommy and daddy. He also gets hiccups once or twice a day (he's actually hiccuping as I write this).

I guess we're in the "home stretch" now. I just hope for a few more uneventful weeks. I was listening to an old Radiohead album the other day, and a line from the song "No Surprises" has been popping into my head over and over:

"No alarms and no surprises, please".

A Shared Memorial

Taison and I attended a remembrance ceremony yesterday at Mt. Auburn hospital for families who had lost babies. Neither of us really wanted to go, for various reasons. I didn't know what to expect from the ceremony, and that made me nervous. I think I was afraid of feeling exposed. But, I knew I would regret missing an opportunity to memorialize Julian in the place he was born with the people who supported us during his birth.

It was uncomfortable to be there at first, but by the halfway point I was glad we had gone. The ceremony consisted of readings by various staff members (L&D nurses, midwives and OBs), music and some words by the hospital chaplain. We (the families in attendance) were also given an opportunity to participate, which was nice. Taison and I agreed afterward that our favorite part was actually the informal mingling afterwards. It was nice to chat with the staff members who were so intimately involved in Julian's birth, and the ones we have gotten to know in the 15 months since then.

Remembrance Day

October is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month, and tomorrow, October 15th, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. We will be lighting a candle at 7pm in memory of Julian and other babies who have passed away. Please join us in lighting your own candle for tomorrow's "Wave of Light".

Swirling Mix of Emotions

On my walk home through Magnolia Park earlier this week I just happened to turn around and see this sky:

I had to stop and take a picture, because I couldn't believe how well these oddly-swirling clouds captured how I've been feeling lately: a swirling mix of excitement, fear, hope, frustration, optimism, self-pity. As we approach the "home stretch" of this pregnancy, Taison and I will both have to face our fears about losing another baby. We've realized that we'll have to be deliberate about supporting each other and reaching out to our support systems. I know we'll be fine, and these last few weeks will pass before we know it, but it does seem like a long road ahead sometimes.

Blogiversary

Songs and Skies is a year old today! I'm so glad I started this blog. It's been exactly what I hoped it would be: a way to stay in touch, and a safe space for me to share the ups and downs of the past year. To celebrate, I've added a search bar to the blog (exciting, I know). You should be able to see it on the right under the "About Me" section. I thought this would be helpful if you (or I) are trying to find something, especially since this is the 98th post!

You may remember that part of my motivation for starting this blog was the Capture Your Grief project. It's going on again this year, but I decided not to participate this time around. I still look for ways to remember Julian, and I still need outlets for the feelings of loss, but this just didn't feel like the right outlet for me right now.

I'm not sure how Songs and Skies will evolve over the next year. Hopefully, it will be loaded with baby pictures and musings on motherhood. There will definitely be posts about travel and food and yoga. I have only shared this blog with close family and friends. I've thought a little bit about starting a spin-off blog to share more widely, and keeping Songs and Skies as a more private "family blog". We'll see what happens over the next few months. There are much bigger life changes in store, after all.

Thank you so much for reading and for being an important part of our lives. I look forward to sharing the next year with you.

Love,
Kristen

Kitchen Adventures: Chicken Pot Pie

I like chicken pot pie. It's such a comforting fall and winter dish. Last weekend I had a fennel bulb that I didn't know what to do with, so when I found this recipe, it was the perfect opportunity to use up the fennel and try making my own chicken pot pie.

I added some white wine to the chicken broth. The tiny bottles are perfect to have around for cooking, especially when I'm pregnant and not drinking.

I also added onion and a little celery. I omitted the fennel seeds and used prosciutto instead of ham.

Naked pie

Covered-up pie

Cooked pie. Look, I even made a little decoration in the crust. 

Yum

So, there was just one problem with this warm, inviting, savory pie: it wasn't quite as savory as it was supposed to be. I took a shortcut and bought a pie crust, and apparently the crust I bought was a pastry crust. Which meant it was sweet-distractinly sweet. All was not lost, though. I peeled the crust off of the rest of the pie and served the filling over rice. Next time, I'll either go all the way and make my own crust, or (more likely), just check the ingredients on the crust I buy to make sure there's no sugar!

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

I saw a pretty red maple leaf on the ground when I left work yesterday and it made me smile. Daddy and I are excited that it's fall now, because that means it's almost time to meet you! Of course, we've had fun getting to know you already, but we're looking forward to holding you in our arms and seeing what you look like. But first, you need to do some more growing. Take your time-we'll try to be patient.

Love,

Mommy

30 weeks!