Yesterday should have been Julian's "half-birthday". I figured out why the six month point is so hard, at least for me. At this point, the amount of time I knew Julian is equal to the amount of time that has passed since he died. Sure, I was pregnant for nine months, but I didn't see or feel him until after the first trimester. I first saw his face and little hands and feet during an ultrasound in January, and I started to show and feel him move a few weeks later. No matter how many photos I look at or how much time I spend thinking about him, I know the memories of those short six months with him will warp and fade as time goes on. But, they are all I have of my dear son, so I will continue to revisit those precious memories, and savor them.