Dear Baby Julian,
Julian, you would be 6 months old now. I had a plan to steal you away from your Mommy and Daddy for a few days. I love 6 month old babies. It’s the perfect infant age. You would be able to sit up on your own but not crawl away. You would recognize people but hopefully not see me as a stranger! I can just imagine your cute smiles. I wish we had been able to see your eyes when you were born. That’s the only missing piece in my imagination of how you would look now. How much fun we would be having!
Although you’re not here in body, you are certainly here in spirit. I used to look at your pictures every night before I went to sleep. I don’t do that as much anymore, but don’t think I have forgotten you. I think of you often as I drive to work. I think of you when I have rest time at the end of yoga class. I think of you in all those other quiet alone times when I wish you were here. As I said before, we can feel you here in our hearts. It’s just the empty arms that make us all feel so sad.
Your Mommy and Daddy miss being your Mommy and Daddy so much. Yes, they are your parents, but they so wish you were here to love and hold. We are all trying not to be jealous of all those other parents and grandparents who do have their babies with them. But we do have something. We have our memories of that special night when we did get to hold you and kiss you and in my case, bathe you. And we have our imaginings of what you would be like today on your 6 month old birthday…