Sunday, March 10, 2013

A Year Ago in Belize...

...Julian was with us.

Caye Caulker, Belize, March 2012

I had many bittersweet moments during our vacation this year. Moments when I missed him, moments when I suddenly remembered everything that happened in July and over the months since then. I am proud to say that I twice answered the question "do you have any kids?" accurately, by saying that our son was stillborn last summer.

Sunrise in Salt Cay, Turks and Caicos, March 2013

Dear Julian,

We just got back from a trip to the Caribbean, kind of like the one you were with us for last year.

There were lots of babies on the plane. It made me think about what it would be like to have you with us. This would have been the trip where we really introduced you to the sand and the ocean (and sunscreen). You would have been too little when we went to the Vineyard last September.

Do you remember the old man in Belize last year? You may have been able to hear him when he said, "take good care of that baby!" to me. I replied, "okay, thank you" and laughed a little, because that man was the first stranger to comment on my tiny baby bump.

I think I did take good care of you. After all, you were nice and chubby and perfect-looking when you were born, with all ten fingers and ten toes. I think you were happy and comfortable in my belly for those nine months-you certainly seemed to have fun kicking and rolling around. Even though I was hoping to take care of you for a lot longer than a few months, it was nice to have that short time with you.


1 comment:

  1. It's amazing how much can happen in a year, isn't it? Bittersweet, indeed. Hugs to you, my friend.