July

I can't believe it's July again. July 2012 seems so far away, but it also does not seem possible that almost an entire year has already passed since Julian was born.

So far, I'm doing better with the summer than I thought I might. I've for the most part been able to avoid dwelling on the "this time last summer" thoughts. I've had some rough spots, but overall I'm just continuing to try to focus on each day as it comes. Work and singing are keeping me busy, which helps pass the time and keep my mind off of sad or bitter thoughts of what might have been.

I am so grateful to be pregnant, and to feel baby moving around every day. It's scary to be pregnant again, but still fascinating to watch a new life grow. We are already so in love with this baby. Giving birth to Julian was a glimpse into how beautiful it would be to have a living child. Having that to look forward to has helped make this a much happier summer than it would have been otherwise.

Taison and I plan to celebrate Julian's birthday quietly just the two of us. The 22nd falls on a Monday this year. We booked a trip to Montreal for the weekend before. I think it will be good for me to be somewhere different that weekend. On his birthday, we'll light a candle and have a little cake, and just take some time to remember our sweet little boy.